You know I can’t help myself, right? I have to take The Fugs of the nail polish world and try as hard as I can to make them into something that looks like they were created purposefully – by someone who was not drunk. I call these treasures the #ArchiveAtrocities.
For your enjoyment, here’s China Glaze There’s Snow One Like You from their Happy HoliGlaze 2013 Collection. I bought it. Just now. I really did. Paid money ‘n everything.
I used my Essence Wild White Ways as a pair of undies and then did two coats of the Snow. Then I sat here at my desk and hollered to Nick (my other half), “Oh my golly! This is the most remarkable polish I’ve seen in a long, long time!”
Nick was behind me on the couch and couldn’t see the polish (or my sarcasm), so I got up and took my digits (and a magnifying glass) over to show him. I do this a lot because he’s a dude and sometimes dudes say funny things because they just have zero idea about polish. His opinion sometimes matters, but mostly, when it comes to polish, not so much.
Anyhow, as Nick is eyeballin’ the Snow through the magnifying glass, this:
N (that’s Nick): It’s like it’s got disease.
K (that’s me): Hahahhaa!
N: Maybe it’d look good on zombies?
N: I don’t know.
K: So it doesn’t make you think cottage cheese?
N: Oh! There you are! Ya!YahYah!
Then I slapped on some top coat. Why? Why the heck not? I mean it’s not like there’s a chance I could have made it worse, right?