Mystery Merch: A Besmirchproof Apron, Snake Oil Milk, and Okay Skincare

Ever amused yourself in a random Chinatown store? As you'll see from the following snaps, I have. I particularly enjoy the curious logos that look an awful lot like big-name beauty and grooming brands but aren't, interesting household-helper tools, and the above waterproof, besmirchproof apron for any happy-homemaker's potentially defamatory occasions.

This brush with a plastic-tweezer-style handle amuses with instructions: "Easy to remove the dirt on the drainage outlet or in the crevice. If you are reluctant to touch the dirt with your hands, use the pincers." I did not buy one, but perhaps I should have. Still mulling.

Hidden-pocket underwear, $1.50 each. Zippered, so your change or whatever won't get loose.

I haven't a clue what's in this Longliqi Snake Oil Sod Milk (with "nanoscale snake oil"). Couldn't read the back of the package and a quick online search yielded no useable details. Sod could mean superoxide dismutase, a powerful antioxidant found in GliSODin and Cindy Crawford Meaningful Beauty, but probably not. And I wonder if the company knows the history of "snake oil" in North America? Marketed around the 1900s or earlier as a cure-all, it was dogged by reports of false snake-oil content claims, ineffectiveness, and ringers planted in the crowd to lie about its benefits. Thus snake oil quickly became a term that generally refers to questionable beauty/health potions designed to fleece consumers.

ck Happy Citrus Perfume. Interesting. Should have taken a snap of the bottle to the right, as well.

The wordmark on this Okay stuff calls to mind another big-brand wordmark.

Gilheney? Really?

Any chance you have light to shed on any of these curious Chinatown finds? Would you try any of the beauty/grooming products?

UPDATE: Looks like another part of my heritage -- you know I'm Chinese, Portuguese, English and French, right? -- needs help, too:

Thanks for the giggle, Tracy at BeautyReflections! Glorious Britain indeed.