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Cranky Beauty Pants: An (Un)Fabulous Mani/Pedi = Really Cranky Beauty Pants

Cranky gets beauty services that include hair in her toe polish, and leaves even more Cranky.
Fabulous Manicure Bar

Remember shabby chic? It was fun, right? And it’s still a fun place to visit, or so I think until I visit Fabulous Manicure Bar & Pedicure Lounge at Mount Pleasant and Manor Road in Toronto.

My bestie and I arrive for mani/pedis, and start by picking our colours. I’m particularly devoted to a shade from OPI's 2009 Spanish collection, but they don't have it. Out of the three OPI polish colours I like to wear, they have one.

I know. I know. I should just bring my own. I’m probably not the only person who gets a little freaked out when a salon doesn’t have your colour or even a close approximation of your colour. Right?

As for Bestie, she really loves offensive (to me) nail colours like blue, but there's nothing like that on the one, sad, little, three-tiered non-cake rack. And much of what's there seems to have shimmer. *shudder*

The pedicure (lounge)

We sit in easy chairs that have been placed atop a platform. Out come bowls that remind me of one Mom kept by my bed when I wasn’t feeling well as a kid, but whatever. It's cold outside, and they’re filled with hot, bubbly water.

Or not.

Yup, tepid bubbly water. Awesome.

We request new, hotter water.

Bestie is short, about 5'4". But I am not. My legs are too long for the atop-platform set-up, and I feel like they're about to send the bowl over the edge. Totally comfortable and not awkward at all.

The person doing my toes has long hair. She doesn't tie out of the way, so it keeps hitting my toes. Which is okay, I guess. At least until we get to the nail-polishing part.

Oh, and the wooden foot file has seen better days. Like the ones before the sandpaper started coming off in strips.

Bonus: we're treated to the kind of halfhearted massage you expect from a place that might charge $20 for a mani/pedi. Except this place charges more like $44+ for a pedi alone.

The manicure (bar)

According to a much better manicurist from a much better salon (Sorry for cheating on you – had a gift certificate!), I have good nails that don’t need much work. But since returning home, I've re-filed my nails twice. Not because I’m picky about shape (100% not picky about shape) but because rough edges were catching on things.

For those of you keeping score, to enjoy (un)Fabulous Manicure Bar & Pedicure Lounge, you need to heart shimmer in red, pink or orange polish; be under 5'5"; like your water piping warm; prefer hair-textured pedicures; and love snagging your freshly manicured nails on fabric, hair and skin.

But the place totally has signature teas in cute little cups that your mom probably sold at a garage sale when your grandma died, so there’s that.