Skip to main content

Cranky Beauty Pants: Kelly Osbourne's Miss USA Pageant Presence

Cranky Beauty Pants has thoughts on Kelly Osbourne's hair and makeup at the Miss USA Pageant
Kelly Osbourne

Admission: I like Kelly Osbourne. I think she's fun and she generally has a quirky sense of style that I appreciate. Flash forward to the 60th Miss USA pageant Sunday in Las Vegas, at which Kelly was on-hand to provide colour commentary for NBC.

Full marks for dressing like a contestant. But from the neck up.... Let's start with the Eagle: Kelly's face and neck/chest are not even close to the same colour or texture.

Speaking of texture, what's up with her hair? Piece-y's fine but the bit just to the left of her part is downright weird. It's like backcombing that wasn't smoothed out. Actually, it might be backcombing that wasn't smoothed out. (I'm like Dr. House, but for hair.)

Kelly's lipstick is weirdly matte. Matte is a big trend right now, but hers looks like the colour wore off and she forgot to reapply. I wonder if Joan Rivers will bring this up on E!'s "Fashion Police" this week? That won't be awkward at all.

I feel like there's a "lost pet" poster in the Osbournes' neighbourhood and what's missing is two large spiders belonging to Ozzy. They might be hiding in Kelly's lashes. If there's a reward, I'll totally split it with you.

Side note: Kelly's "Fashion Police" co-star Giuliana Rancic co-hosted the pageant and is a former pageant contestant herself. I think you know how I feel about her but this article gave me some insight into why she is the way she is. Best part: she flubbed the interview portion when she was a contestant. I totally didn't see that coming.