It's awards season and Cranky B. loves her some Ricky Gervais talking smack. Thank you Hollywood Foreign Press Association for choosing Ricky again. How about Julia Stiles missing her moment when her name was called as the camera pans to a seat filler in her seat? Alleged husband-stealing karma? But on to the real story of the Golden Globes is, of course, the hair and makeup.
There were a couple of hair trends from the Globes that we need to discuss. First, bangs.
Julie Bowen plays the mom, Claire, on the delightful sitcomÂ "Modern Family." What's not so delightful are her bangs. While they were fine on the red carpet, by the time she was presenting, her bangs appeared to be driving her mad and she fussed with them on stage. This is what makes bangs so tricky. How do you manage them without seeming like you have a touch of the twitches?
While we're on the subject of bangs, how about Sandra Bullock's new look? She looks like an entirely different person. Perhaps a person dating the recently-single Ryan Reynolds? Allegedly.
Rumours aside, bangs that are that long are going to need a significant amount of trimming. Bangs like this might not be compatible with real life, if you have to drive or see or something. Reminds me ofÂ this.
How about the totally random but fun fact that Chris Colfer's character on "Glee," Kurt Hummel, was named for theÂ figurines because of his rosy cheeks? And good for Chris to speak out about bullying, but to stop short ofÂ "Suck it Jesus. This award is my God now." That always causes so much controversy.
Speaking of "Glee," when Annette Bening won forÂ The Kids Are All Right, was it necessary to cut to Jane Lynch? Super subtle.
Which brings us to trend number two: short hair. There was lots of it in evidence at the Globes. Much of it was on the "more mature" actresses, but also onÂ Michelle Williams, who already gets love from the head Beautygeek.
The final trend -- perhaps an unintentional one -- unfinished hair. It doesn't have to look perfect because that's not the style anymore (allegedly), but it does need to look like something happened to it between the time you woke up and the time you walked down the red carpet. "Brush your hair!" offenders included:
Elisabeth Moss, "Mad Men" -- you're very nice and we know you suffer from migraines (or at least makeÂ commercials for migraine remedies), but you need to brush your hair.
Olivia Wilde - you may have won most best dressed lists, but you need to brush your hair.
Kaley Cuoco,Â "Big Bang Theory" - even extensions that may have come from the mall need brushing, so please, brush your hair. P.S. You're so pretty, maybe a little more makeup though.
So who did it right?
Megan Fox -- beautiful hair.Â Face still concerning. It does take cosmetic work some time to settle. Allegedly.
Natalie Portman -- gorgeous, finished hair, and I also heard a rumour that she might be pregnant. Anyone else hear that?
Claire Danes -- beautiful hair and bonus points for bringing the subject of your biopic with you to the ceremony. Double bonus points for not stealing anyone's husband last night. Allegedly.
Most images fromÂ JustJared.