I thought I had a pretty fierce coping mechanism -- Pollyanna -- to help me deal with disappointment, upset, undesireable circumstance and unpleasant people. In fact, my Pollyanna side is so strong that she's often addressed directly by friends, especially those who have expressed irate feelings about, say, a driver cutting them off on the highway, only to have Pollyanna say blithely, "Maybe she didn't see you because she really, really has to pee and is afraid she won't make it." Or needed to vent about another person's seemingly purposeful cutting remarks, and got from Pollyanna, "Maybe she was just having a really insecure day."
Well Pollyanna is in love. She's in love with a girl named Allie Brosh.
Allie has taken coping mechanisms to a whole new level: she's found a way to make other people's bad grammar amusing. Grammar slaughter is something Pollyanna and I simply try to ignore because it makes us both crazy as we sit here correcting mistakes aloud to a room that contains no-one but us. Allie, however, is an excellent writer and quirky-fab illustrator who pretends missed letters are an attempt at streamlining the typing process by someone with only one digit per hand. Her explanation for people who leave out apostrophes and capital letters had Pollyanna and me crushing large. Then, at what Allie does with that most ignorant error "alot," Pollyanna tumbled into love, and really, I'm not that far behind:
"But there is one grammatical mistake that I particularly enjoy encountering. It has become almost fun for me to come across people who take the phrase "a lot" and condense it down into one word, because when someone says 'alot,' this is what I imagine:
The Alot is an imaginary creature that I made up to help me deal with my compulsive need to correct other people's grammar. It kind of looks like a cross between a bear, a yak and a pug, and it has provided hours of entertainment for me in a situation where I'd normally be left feeling angry and disillusioned with the world.
For example, when I read the sentence "I care about this alot," this is what I imagine:
If someone says something like "I feel lonely alot" or "I'm angry alot," I'm going to imagine them standing there with an emo haircut, sharing their feelings with an Alot.
Don't waste time here. Pollyanna's already over at Hyperbole and a Half, worshipping. Again.
Illustrations and italicized text blatantly swiped from Hyperbole and a Half for the purpose of gushing; © Allie Brosch. Thanks, Pippa/@curvesmart, for sharing. Awesome.