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F is for Falsies: I Heart False-Lash Clusters

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Is it wrong that instead of filling you in on the smart-spend/smart-save tips I didn't get to on "Canada AM" yesterday, I'm geeking out over false lashes? The staff is tsk-tsk-tsking over in her corner, of course. Whatev.

I've complained more than once that I have sadly sparse short lashes. Four on one eye, three on the other, I like to say -- and sometimes they switch, just to freak me out. You'd think, therefore, that I'm all over the false lashes every day, like I'm Barbara Harris who played Mom in the 1976 Freaky Friday with Jodie Foster. (That a dramatic strip of false lashes was de rigeur for Annabel's mother -- for lots of women in the 60s, actually -- has stuck with me since I first saw the film on TV's "The Wonderful World of Disney.")

But no. Although I've applied false lashes to others, because I don't see myself as glamorous, and because I'm always slow to do things that I think I'll mess up, I'm not so practiced at putting them on myself.

’Cept I was about to do my first-ever spot on "Canada AM" and if I couldn't be lucky-bitch skinny, I was going to have lucky-bitch lashes.

I curled my lashes, then ran black GOSH Velvet Touch waterproof eye pencil along the inner rims of my upper lashlines to make my natural lashes look thicker -- hey, every little bit helps. I also used the pencil along the base of my upper lashes and winged the liner slightly at the outer edges. Time for lashes.

Strip lashes can be a bit tricky if you have not-so-nimble fingers. I seem to have an easier time using tweezers to apply little clusters of lashes instead. I also like the feathery effect they give, and that because the cluster base is so tiny and needs so little glue, I can't feel the falsies on my lids at all. I like them for bridal clients too -- they forget in seconds that they're wearing them.

I chose from a package of MAC 30 Lash fakers ($14 CAN), which features three lash lengths from wee to whee!; I used the medium size, which are still pretty whee! (Quo Cosmetics at Shoppers Drug Mart also sells packages of flirty lash clusters -- I have both but yesterday morning the MAC was easier to find in my stash.)

Holding each cluster by the lash part with tweezers, I dipped the base into a dab of glue on the back of my hand, waited a second for the glue to get tacky, then positioned it behind my own lashes against the base of my lashline, working from the outer edges in. I think I used four or five clusters per eye, and I trimmed the lashes that went closest to the inner corners for a more... yes, natural effect. A light sweep of mascara from natural base to false tips, et voilà. "Canada AM" makeup artist Spring applied a bit more mascara at the studio for TV-camera drama -- that's what you see here. Lucky-bitch lashes.

And DAMN. Why don't I do this every day? Glam lashes are such a beauty and confidence boost for the lash-lorn. I swear I got better service than ever at my local Starbucks because of these babies.

Such is the power of falsies.


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