Face Plant: Tom Cruise Filler! Proof! (OR: Tom Cruise’s Face is Like Fake Boobs!)

by Liza Herz on 18 December 2013 · 6 comments

Tom Cruise fillerI’m worn out from the flu, so I took a break from work and spent the afternoon watching trailers on YouTube. Here’s Tom Cruise in a screen cap from the trailer for Edge of Tomorrow. He’s lying on a gurney, shot from above. All the Tom Cruise filler proof anyone needs, the shot also illustrates how cheek filler is like breast implants.

tom cruise filler: how filled cheeks are like fake boobs

Look, dude is Restylaned to the max. No cheeks stay that round and firm when you’re lying down. Gravity has its way with you. Jeez.

Tom Cruise filler_Edge of TomorrowI remember reading somewhere (was it in Less Than Zero?) that cruel boys in LA would make girls lie on their backs to see if their breasts were real (real ones disappear into your armpit, while the fakes remain at attention, pointing upwards).

So, yeah. Tom Cruise filler. Cheek filler. Swear.

He could learn some things from Megan Fox and Kim Kardashian.

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Janine 18 December 2013 at 9:47 am

Omigod — Liza, I LOVE it when you fall down an Internet hole!


Joanne Latimer (@SinusSister) 18 December 2013 at 1:02 pm

Great article and title. Hilarious! He looks like a re-inflated mask of himself. I just saw ‘Jack Reacher’, which wasn’t too bad, but I was thoroughly distracted by Cruise’s puffy, waxen face. At some angles, the light was bouncing off his face, creating a claymation-mottled effect. Sigh. Doesn’t this guy have any true friends who can tell him to dial down the filler? Doesn’t he have a long-time producing partner–Paula someone? Where’s Paula?


Liza Herz 18 December 2013 at 2:14 pm

Yes, Joanne! Exactly! Where are his people?? The man has art approval for magazine covers, chooses the writers that will create the accompanying (fawning) feature stories, but they totally missed the boat on this.

Where’s Paula, indeed!


Michelle @LipstickRules 21 December 2013 at 9:15 am

This could be my favourite headline ever. LOL. So true. What happened to Maverick? ;-)


Liza Herz 21 December 2013 at 9:32 am

Janine is the best headline writer in the known world, isn’t she?

Maverick. If you go back and look at that Top Gun, he looks so young with those almost chubby cheeks. It’s probably that juicy collagen-rich baby fat that he is trying to recreate now. I don’t blame him (who wants to age on camera? ugh.) but like Joanne said above, where was his team on this? That lying down shot gives the whole game away.


Janine 21 December 2013 at 3:37 pm

Pshaw. This post is so awesome, it practically gave itself that headline, Liza! And Michelle, I feel like we have to light a candle for Maverick. *sigh*


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