Cranky Beauty Pants: Frosty January Jones at the SAG Awards 2013

by Cranky B. Pants on 29 January 2013 · 5 comments

January Jones_SAG Awards 2013It’s January — *shudder*. Here in central Canada we start going a little crazy this time of year. It’s dark, it’s cold and we just want to walk outside without getting pickled in salt or frozen to death. Imagine my surprise when January Jones of “Mad Men” walked the SAG Awards red carpet Sunday looking like the embodiment of all that January represents.

Note the white splashed up the front of her dress, like salt.

The orange lip — let’s say it represents the sun we see from time to time.

The vertical lines in her lips remind us to use more lip balm.

The way her hair waves up is an interpretation of how our hair can freeze if we don’t finish blow drying it before leaving the house.

I’m christening today “January Jones 29th, 2013.”

Who’s going to try this look with me?

Photo borrowed from

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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Craig MacInnis 29 January 2013 at 12:22 pm

Ha, ha. Brilliant piece. I don’t know who you are, Cranky Beauty Pants, but your snarks make me giggle.


chelsea 29 January 2013 at 4:32 pm

She looks like Bowie!


Kelly G. 29 January 2013 at 8:54 pm

Yes! She’s the thin white duke. Good call.


Janine 29 January 2013 at 8:23 pm

Love your take on January, Cranky!

And this look is so ALL wrong. That stiff ‘do might work a bit better with less structured makeup. And that eye makeup and contoured cheek makes the orange lipstick look dated rather than fresh. I’m offended on orange’s behalf. (And I hope this isn’t the work of an artist I love :-( )


Naddy 4 February 2013 at 12:08 pm

Bad. Just bad. Which is weird considering she’s so pretty.


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