Cranky Kranky Beauty Pants: A Very Merry Khristmas Kard

by Cranky B. Pants on 20 December 2011 · 5 comments

This is the ~~Kardashian Christmas card~~ Kardashian Khristmas Kard. I have a few questions about this kard.

1) Did Kris Humphries get edited out? Was he standing beside Kim, and, through the magic of Photoshop, removed?

2) Are at least three of them wearing the same lipstick? It kind of looks that way to me. I won’t tell you who. Speculating is more fun.

3) Remember on “Gilligan’s Island” how the theme song started naming characters – “the millionaire and his wife” but then got to “…and the rest”? That’s how I feel about Rob, Kylie and Kendall: they’re very “and the rest” over there on the left. In fact, if this was distributed by mail, I wonder if their bit was folded or cut off to make the kard fit in the envelope.

4) Is this Glamour Shots from The Grove? I ask because no one is smiling and it feels a little feather boa and “make love to the camera.”

5) Did their makeup artist just know the smoky eye?

6) Do they all colour their hair from the same box? You know, except Khloe.

7) Should men really be this incidental? Seriously, couldn’t you just replace Bruce with a palm tree or Lamar with a coat rack? Also, how do Bruce’s other kids feel about this?

8) Is there now a false eyelash shortage globally?

Here are the ~~close~~ klose ups at The Daily Mail.