Geeking Out: I Really Like it, ALOT!

by Janine on 26 April 2010 · 15 comments

I thought I had a pretty fierce coping mechanism — Pollyanna — to help me deal with disappointment, upset, undesireable circumstance and unpleasant people. In fact, my Pollyanna side is so strong that she’s often addressed directly by friends, especially those who have expressed irate feelings about, say, a driver cutting them off on the highway, only to have Pollyanna say blithely, “Maybe she didn’t see you because she really, really has to pee and is afraid she won’t make it.” Or needed to vent about another person’s seemingly purposeful cutting remarks, and got from Pollyanna, “Maybe she was just having a really insecure day.”

Well Pollyanna is in love. She’s in love with a girl named Allie Brosh.

Allie has taken coping mechanisms to a whole new level: she’s found a way to make other people’s bad grammar amusing. Grammar slaughter is something Pollyanna and I simply try to ignore because it makes us both crazy as we sit here correcting mistakes aloud to a room that contains no-one but us. Allie, however, is an excellent writer and quirky-fab illustrator who pretends missed letters are an attempt at streamlining the typing process by someone with only one digit per hand. Her explanation for people who leave out apostrophes and capital letters had Pollyanna and me crushing large. Then, at what Allie does with that most ignorant error “alot,” Pollyanna tumbled into love, and really, I’m not that far behind:

“But there is one grammatical mistake that I particularly enjoy encountering. It has become almost fun for me to come across people who take the phrase “a lot” and condense it down into one word, because when someone says ‘alot,’ this is what I imagine:

The Alot is an imaginary creature that I made up to help me deal with my compulsive need to correct other people’s grammar. It kind of looks like a cross between a bear, a yak and a pug, and it has provided hours of entertainment for me in a situation where I’d normally be left feeling angry and disillusioned with the world.

For example, when I read the sentence “I care about this alot,” this is what I imagine:


If someone says something like “I feel lonely alot” or “I’m angry alot,” I’m going to imagine them standing there with an emo haircut, sharing their feelings with an Alot.

Don’t waste time here. Pollyanna’s already over at Hyperbole and a Half, worshipping. Again.

Illustrations and italicized text blatantly swiped from Hyperbole and a Half for the purpose of gushing; © Allie Brosch. Thanks, Pippa/@curvesmart, for sharing. Awesome.

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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Andrea Claire 26 April 2010 at 6:45 pm

I adore you alot! :)

Brilliant.

xo

Reply

Janine 27 April 2010 at 10:27 pm

Isn’t she fabulous, Andrea? She’s my new hero. Funny, funny woman — her “About” and “About2″ kill me, as does the stuff down the side of the screen. Amazing. xo

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jojoba (My Makeup Reviews) 27 April 2010 at 7:02 pm

do you know how a WOMBAT looks like? it’s like your imaginary friend minus the devil’s horns! lol

have a look around on the Net. :P

Reply

Janine 27 April 2010 at 10:27 pm

I do know from wombats! From when I was a kiddie — they were in books I read! Awesome.

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Jenn 27 April 2010 at 10:12 pm

Just stumbled across her, too. LOVE.

Reply

Janine 27 April 2010 at 10:29 pm

She has lots of internet love, judging by the comments, Jenn! I read some of them today during a wordblock. Her site makes me happy.

Reply

ChickAdvisor 28 April 2010 at 1:30 pm

I love this so much. I’m going to check out her blog now, thanks!

And yes you are a Pollyanna, but that’s one of the things we love about you. The world needs more positive people :)

Reply

Janine 28 April 2010 at 2:14 pm

Thanks so much, CA — you are too sweet! As for the world needing more positive people, I think Hyperbole and a Half can help — laughing people can’t help but be positive. She’s so funny!

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